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[22 Jan 2003|12:36am]

jacy12
I really don't think that life can get much worse then it is now
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Uh, yeah [25 Sep 2002|11:42am]

sassymouth
[ mood | annoyed ]

I disappear, then I reappear. It happens.

I think everyone in this hemisphere has a right to be angry with me at this point. I can honestly say that I don't blame them. Actually, I'm pretty angry at myself as well.

Last night was...I don't think I'm even going to try to explain last night. I do know that I learned a few things about myself that only Nichole seemed to know.

I will forever be apologizing to her. I will forever be thanking God for her. I would not be on the outside of the crazy bin if she didn't watch out for me, believe in me, and love me the way she does. It's unconditional. I honestly think that everyone else has this standard for me that I sometimes can't reach. The only thing Nic wants is for me to return the same courtesy to her that she offers me. Last night, I goofed. I think my statement "giant, dumb jerkass" kinda sums it up.

Good luck with your test today. Thank you. I am still sorry.


I wander.
The road is not clearly marked,
even those who came before
hid in the openness they claimed to want.

Still, how to be yourself when
no one wants you to be
anything outside their standard norm
is a life lesson I have yet to learn.

So, I wander.
One day after another after another.
I feel the lose of a uniqueness the
world will never know.

And I ask, with the hate spread across the land,
why should any love be wrong?
I am told love is nothing but goodness.

I am in disbelief.
I wander.

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Here... [08 Sep 2002|09:35pm]

gecko1129
[ mood | bitchy ]

This community has gone to shit. I posted like two months ago now and said no one had posted in two weeks. Listen people, I got a book of bitching I could be writing in here and you are all holding me back. Don't make me bitch about this community ever again.

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[08 Aug 2002|10:55pm]

jacy12
Life sucks
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[04 Aug 2002|04:43am]

starryprplehaze
what has happened to this community?
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Dun dun dun, period strikes again, dun dun dun... [25 Jul 2002|11:20pm]

sunrayvenus
I'm fucked up like no other and it pisses me off. I'm screwing up everything.I shouldn't talk to anyone when it's fucking period time. It gets in the way! It fucks things up! I blame IT for everything. Damn being a girl! GRRRR! I can't wait for damn menopause, which will be in about another 50 fucking years!
~R
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one of my pet peeves [11 Jul 2002|09:55pm]

starryprplehaze
[ mood | bitchy ]

so i go on a weekend trip to visit my parents when they are out of town. before this, i had been home taking care of the house. the first full sentence out of my mom was, "boy, honey, i wish you would spend some time in your room, cleaning up." this was after i had cleaned about half of the room, and she didn't even notice. ugh. obnoxious. my parents are always on my back about keeping my room "clean." what's wrong with a messy room?!

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Oh I feel bad now.... [25 Jun 2002|09:14pm]

sunrayvenus
[ mood | aggravated ]

I haven't bitched in a month. Lol. Well not a lot has been making me mad lately. There's not much to rant about 'cept the fact that I can't stand people without common sense (though some people say I'm the one who has none - Pssh!). For instance, my cousin is an only child and is so fucking spoiled. She doesn't have the common sense to shut her mouth once in a while. She told me the same thing three times in one hour. I told her I heard it the first time and she thinks no one listens to her. Maybe it's cuz she's just so fucking annoying. I mean seriously, wouldn't you kind of realize after people have told you to shut up so many times that you're annoying? I know I would. I even think I'm annoying at some points, but she never realizes it. It pisses me off. Well that was during my vacation. Now it's over and she's back home. Thank goodness! Ugh! I just had to let that out. Anywho, an update on the Marissa scene: not many people like her at work cuz she tries to boss people around and no one likes that coming from a person lower on the list. Pssh! Well I'm out for now.
~R

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ick [08 Jun 2002|08:29pm]

smelimeli58
[ mood | stressed ]

I know I haven't written in over a month. There's just been so much shit happening to me. Since March 30 (for those of you who didn't read when I posted it, thats the day my dad died) I've had to deal with relapsing into depression. I also had my first birthday without dad here. For those of you who don't know, I'm still just a "kid", kind of. I'm 15 so i'm closer to being and adult. Exactly a month ago today was my birthday and it was birthday number one that I didn't see dad, and that was really hard to deal with. Exams are coming up starting on Thursday and summer rowing starts monday so my time has been tied up with study groups and working out for crew. School crew went from December to mid May, and summer crew now goes from June 10- Aug 11. Crew, well sports in general, are an amazing escape from the stresses of life. I don't concentrate on anything but the erg (rowing machine) or the oar depending if I have land practice or water practice.
Thats all for now. Catch you on the flip side.

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[29 May 2002|11:35pm]

jacy12
Invite more people? I tried so hard and got harassed by so many last time. Please let's not do that again. :) But it was kinda fun so maybe
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Damn you all! [28 May 2002|12:47am]

gecko1129
[ mood | lazy ]

I'm gonna bitch now because we let this community go to shit. Has everyone in it died? I feel like posting in here sometimes, but then I don't because I don't think anyone even reads these anymore. It's been more than two weeks since someone posted. Maybe I can get you all motivated again. Either that or invite more people to join!

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Long time, no bitching! [08 May 2002|11:58am]

sunrayvenus
[ mood | annoyed ]

Hahahaha! Well well....I actually have something to rant about. My friend Marissa applied for a position at my workplace. So now she might become a server, like me. Well I told her that I don't think the job is right for her cuz she doesn't take directions well, she has a bad attitude, and she doesn't like old people. Oh and also, she doesn't work well with people at all. Once I explained this to her, she took it all wrong and thought I was telling her that she couldn't handle the job. That wasn't my point. I was trying to tell her that the job isn't right for her seeing as she has a bad attitude all the time. Anywho, that's about it for today. Maybe something new will come up. Laters.
~Rachel

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radnomnesss... [02 May 2002|04:01pm]

littleleah
[ mood | creative ]


Ok, i know no1 ever posts in here, and when we do, we just complain, but look! it's me and the georgously hot Gavin Rossdale! lol, i know it's a pretty crappy job, but i'm so excited, i htought i'd share w/ you people.
good day :0)

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Grrrrrrrrrrr [01 May 2002|09:54pm]

jacy12
[ mood | giddy ]

Well out community seems to suck anymore since no one cares to post anything. Bunch of bastards! Just playing! But I figured I would post since I am tired of looking at the same old stuff. :)

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Time To Vent [15 Apr 2002|03:27pm]

jacy12
[ mood | frustrated ]

Yeah I think it's time that I just got everything out that has been stressing me. This may take some time so let me warn you now. Kristin told me that if I vented in here that it may help so let's see if she's right.

First of all. School is totally kicking my ass this semester. I was doing so well and then everything just got thrown on me at once and I just can't take it. I'm doing my work and keeping up but it is totally taking it's toll on me stress wise. I have had so much due in these past 2 weeks and it has just made me like psycho bitch because of it. I just want this semester to be over. It has never been this demanding any other semester. I have no idea why it's so bad this time. And it's gonna get even worse, I can tell.

Likewise I had to schedule today. I just recently switched my major to Management so I got an new Advisor. Well he doesn't know anything but he said if I wanted to graduate on time, which would be in the next 2 years, then I would have to take summer classes. That is fine by me cause I just wanna be out of here in '04. Well I told my parents that and they freaked out about. Automatically they knew everything and were right and they said I didn't need summer classes. Then my mom told me to look into taking a class over the internet and to talk to my dad about it. Well I tired that. I had to meet my advisor last Friday and neither of them would tell me if I was allowed to take summer classes or not. So I felt like an ass going there with nothing new. We worked out a schedule for the next 2 years and it seemed like I would graduate ontime without summer classes but I think my advisor is wrong. So when I finally get time I will look into that again. But anyway I scheduled and who knows if it's right but at least it's over. Oh and because of that I told my mom not to even bother e-mailing me anymore if she couldn't even bother to answer me. So she got all mad and told me to kiss her ass and all that. So the past few days I am been calling her some negative names and wishing death on her (i don't really mean it but it helps vent sometimes.)

Well I wrote about my parents in a journal entry in my main journal and I knew that would get her to e-mail me because she gets all pissy when I write bad stuff about her. So she mails me and says no one is trying to ruin my life and blah blah blah and they love me and all that junk.

We are also fighting because she just told me two weeks ago that we are moving back to my old town. We just moved the summer before my Junior year in High School and now we are moving the summer before my Junior year in College. I would be totally fine with going back, because I hate where I live but there's Bill. He lives by me and when I move I am going to be 5 hours away from him. Well only during the summer, during school we will be an hour and a half apart. So now it looks like I won't be able to see him all summer. I don't even know what's going on with moving. I was going to stay in my house where I live now until my house sells but just thinking about that is depressing. Can you imagine living in a house with no furniture or TV or internet or any of that. I would totally go insane. I love Bill but I don't think I should have to live like that in order to see him. It's just not worth it. I have the rest of my life to see him.

And another thing. Bill graduates college this May and he is looking for a job. Well that's another hassel. Since I told him that I was moving he started looking for jobs on the other side of PA where I will be living. I know he doesn't want to live there though because he is so close with his mom and that would mean he never sees her. I don't even think she will let him live that far away even though he is 22 years old and can make his own decisions. Try telling her that. So who knows what's gonna happen with his jobs search. I really don't want to live in shitty ass Beaver County all my life where he will be. Ah just the thought of that drives me insane. And I won't even have ANY of my family there. So I just don't know.

Besides that my job is pissing me off cause no one ever shows up for their shifts and everyone leaves early and I am always stuck there. But I won't even get into that cause that's just useless.

Got ski club bullshit to deal with too but I just don't care. That is getting put off till the last possible second. I don't even wanna be in it next year, let alone be the damn President.

Ok well I sorta feel better for venting but it's not like it helped anything. Thanks for listening and feel free to comment with advice or anything. :) Until the next time I vent!

*~Jacy~*

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[15 Apr 2002|12:17am]

jacy12
[ mood | depressed ]

I hate my life and I have never ever been this depressed. EVER

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Bummed out... [14 Apr 2002|11:29pm]

gecko1129
[ mood | crappy ]

Life sux. But I imagine those same two words are in every single entry I put in here. Tonite is gay as are all Sunday's. And my mom was at Bingo all nite and so was Jacy. Now Jacy's studying for a test and there is no one to talk to on IM. I hate being in my house, I get mad depressed. Plus it's thundering and lightning and I'm afraid the power will go out and my computer will go off. Then I will have NOTHING to do. Study? Do work? No because at this point there's nothing I can do to get good grades. I hate life!

Guys are evil. I think it's all a conspiracy. I went up to State College last nite to a party and it was so much fun. I had such a great time and I met this guy named Damien. I really wanna get to know him better cuz he's a real cool guy. But of course he lives there and that's two and a half hours away! Plus he works nites and I don't think he has a computer so he's like rarely online. Ya know, this is the way things go in my life. Everyday there's something new. I want to transfer there (at least this week I do) and I can't because I don't have enough freakin credits. Not like there's anywhere there for me to live right now anyway.

It's a conspiracy cuz look, I met someone new and it could have helped me put Kevin in the past where he belongs, but no. Tonite I find out he did take this girl I despise to his college formal. I knew he would take her cuz he probably asked her to go with him when we were still together. But just did it behind my back. He is such an asshole and when I think about him I feel like shit. Nothing about him or our time together makes me smile looking back. So the one day I wake up in another guy's arms and feel better about myself because I have the chance to move on, I find out he's still the prick who never cared about me at all. Just makes me sick. Thanx Kev, when something makes me feel like life is good you always find a way to ruin it.

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[14 Apr 2002|07:25pm]

smelimeli58
[ mood | sad ]

I haven't written in a while. I know. There are two reasons. Number one my dad, who none of you know died in March. Number two, crew which is my life is back on the water so I have practice for three hours a day, and over spring break, I had 2 or 3 practices a day depending on which day it was.

I hope everyone had a happy Passover or a happy Easter. I am a mixed child, half jew-half some form of christianity...my dad never went to church, just did the major holidays at home with us kids.

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Something that pisses me off... [09 Apr 2002|08:34pm]

sunrayvenus
I have a first hour and I have to get up at 5 to go to school every morning. So I've been working for the past six days and last night I got home at 8. I ate dinner till 8:30 and started on my homework which ended at 10:30. Then I went striaght to bed cuz I was so exhausted.

I hear my alarm go off and I just turn it off and decide to sleep for a few more minutes...I get up at 7:00! DAMN! That just fucking pisses me off. I missed first hour but I think I deserved to sleep in cuz I've been working really hard and I've been trying to keep my grades up. So then my dad asks me if I didn't go to school this morning and I say yes and now he says I have a time I have to be in bed. At least I was staying up to do homework instead of watching TV or going online. I had a purpose for being up. It just pisses me off cuz my dad doesn't see that I was working hard all those days and I'm still able to keep my grades at an exceptional level. I don't understand why he can't give me just one day to sleep in. Damn!

-------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm sick of school already. I'm pissed that Spring Break is over even though I didn't go anywhere. I still didn't want to go back to school. I can't wait till summer comes so I can go on vacation. Grrrrr! SCHOOL FUCKING SUX! Okay enough about school.
~R
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[06 Jul 2002|01:10pm]

jacy12
[ mood | angry ]

Life is totally bullshit right now and I wish I could go to sleep for like a month and then wake up and having nothing to do. That would be so great but it's not gonna happen so I am stuck being stressed out and pissed off. What a combination!

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