Jacy (jacy12) wrote in tokani,

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Time To Vent

Yeah I think it's time that I just got everything out that has been stressing me. This may take some time so let me warn you now. Kristin told me that if I vented in here that it may help so let's see if she's right.

First of all. School is totally kicking my ass this semester. I was doing so well and then everything just got thrown on me at once and I just can't take it. I'm doing my work and keeping up but it is totally taking it's toll on me stress wise. I have had so much due in these past 2 weeks and it has just made me like psycho bitch because of it. I just want this semester to be over. It has never been this demanding any other semester. I have no idea why it's so bad this time. And it's gonna get even worse, I can tell.

Likewise I had to schedule today. I just recently switched my major to Management so I got an new Advisor. Well he doesn't know anything but he said if I wanted to graduate on time, which would be in the next 2 years, then I would have to take summer classes. That is fine by me cause I just wanna be out of here in '04. Well I told my parents that and they freaked out about. Automatically they knew everything and were right and they said I didn't need summer classes. Then my mom told me to look into taking a class over the internet and to talk to my dad about it. Well I tired that. I had to meet my advisor last Friday and neither of them would tell me if I was allowed to take summer classes or not. So I felt like an ass going there with nothing new. We worked out a schedule for the next 2 years and it seemed like I would graduate ontime without summer classes but I think my advisor is wrong. So when I finally get time I will look into that again. But anyway I scheduled and who knows if it's right but at least it's over. Oh and because of that I told my mom not to even bother e-mailing me anymore if she couldn't even bother to answer me. So she got all mad and told me to kiss her ass and all that. So the past few days I am been calling her some negative names and wishing death on her (i don't really mean it but it helps vent sometimes.)

Well I wrote about my parents in a journal entry in my main journal and I knew that would get her to e-mail me because she gets all pissy when I write bad stuff about her. So she mails me and says no one is trying to ruin my life and blah blah blah and they love me and all that junk.

We are also fighting because she just told me two weeks ago that we are moving back to my old town. We just moved the summer before my Junior year in High School and now we are moving the summer before my Junior year in College. I would be totally fine with going back, because I hate where I live but there's Bill. He lives by me and when I move I am going to be 5 hours away from him. Well only during the summer, during school we will be an hour and a half apart. So now it looks like I won't be able to see him all summer. I don't even know what's going on with moving. I was going to stay in my house where I live now until my house sells but just thinking about that is depressing. Can you imagine living in a house with no furniture or TV or internet or any of that. I would totally go insane. I love Bill but I don't think I should have to live like that in order to see him. It's just not worth it. I have the rest of my life to see him.

And another thing. Bill graduates college this May and he is looking for a job. Well that's another hassel. Since I told him that I was moving he started looking for jobs on the other side of PA where I will be living. I know he doesn't want to live there though because he is so close with his mom and that would mean he never sees her. I don't even think she will let him live that far away even though he is 22 years old and can make his own decisions. Try telling her that. So who knows what's gonna happen with his jobs search. I really don't want to live in shitty ass Beaver County all my life where he will be. Ah just the thought of that drives me insane. And I won't even have ANY of my family there. So I just don't know.

Besides that my job is pissing me off cause no one ever shows up for their shifts and everyone leaves early and I am always stuck there. But I won't even get into that cause that's just useless.

Got ski club bullshit to deal with too but I just don't care. That is getting put off till the last possible second. I don't even wanna be in it next year, let alone be the damn President.

Ok well I sorta feel better for venting but it's not like it helped anything. Thanks for listening and feel free to comment with advice or anything. :) Until the next time I vent!

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