Chandra (sassymouth) wrote in tokani,

  • Mood:

Uh, yeah

I disappear, then I reappear. It happens.

I think everyone in this hemisphere has a right to be angry with me at this point. I can honestly say that I don't blame them. Actually, I'm pretty angry at myself as well.

Last night was...I don't think I'm even going to try to explain last night. I do know that I learned a few things about myself that only Nichole seemed to know.

I will forever be apologizing to her. I will forever be thanking God for her. I would not be on the outside of the crazy bin if she didn't watch out for me, believe in me, and love me the way she does. It's unconditional. I honestly think that everyone else has this standard for me that I sometimes can't reach. The only thing Nic wants is for me to return the same courtesy to her that she offers me. Last night, I goofed. I think my statement "giant, dumb jerkass" kinda sums it up.

Good luck with your test today. Thank you. I am still sorry.

I wander.
The road is not clearly marked,
even those who came before
hid in the openness they claimed to want.

Still, how to be yourself when
no one wants you to be
anything outside their standard norm
is a life lesson I have yet to learn.

So, I wander.
One day after another after another.
I feel the lose of a uniqueness the
world will never know.

And I ask, with the hate spread across the land,
why should any love be wrong?
I am told love is nothing but goodness.

I am in disbelief.
I wander.
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